Sandeha Nivarini
Swami: Well, my boy! So, you have come. I am very glad. Are you reflecting on the answers given previously and practicing what has been told, in firm conviction, and deriving ananda (Bliss) therefrom?
Bhakta: Swami! Will any bhakta (devotee) like me, ever alert for that chance, allow the words of nectar so received, to go to waste? Will there be anyone who throws away the ambrosia that comes to them as their share? No one aspiring to attain real ananda will allow Your words to go to waste. I do not know about others, but I am reflecting upon Your answers night and day and practicing them. Swami! If not for the invaluable effect of Your ambrosial words, I am unable to bear the strain of waiting for the 16th of the month. I am awake all the time, counting the days.
Swami: It is just this alertness that bhaktas should have. To renounce everything for the unsubstantial, useless, evanescent, and false delusions of the world, to get attached to these and to worry for these is quite natural and this is called avidya-maya (intrinsic nature of ignorance). On the other hand, your meditating or contemplating on the Lord while counting the days, waiting for the chance of hearing His words, and for grasping their essence, this is called vidya-maya (intrinsic nature of Knowledge). If bhaktas fall into this maya, they will attain fulfillment without fail, some day or another. So, since this vidya-maya has illumined you, you are fortunate. Develop this, that is to say, this dwelling on the thoughts of God; don’t give it up or reduce it, for any reason, to any extent. You will become holy, without fail. You will reach fulfillment and attain the goal.
Bhakta: Swami! Last month, You said You would explain to me, “Who am I?” If I understand that also, I can be rid of the little vyamoha (delusion) that I have and, without any slightest trace of doubt, contemplate and meditate on You and be blissful. What greater fortune can I have?
Swami: Well, my boy! To speak about the real nature of 'I' is very easy; but, until it is experienced, full contentment is impossible. For Me to tell you to My satisfaction and for you to grasp its full meaning, it needs some time. This month, even the allotted hours of the day are not enough for Me! Though it is like this, I am using all the time for the ananda of bhaktas only; I have no other separate desire of My own. Being useful for My bhaktas, that is My selfish purpose. Throughout last month, I went to Nellore, Gudur, Venkatagiri, and the villages around. Afterwards, I went to Bangalore and returned. What little time was available, I used for Prema Vahini! This month, I am visiting Hyderabad, Rajahmundry, Samarlakota, Chebrolu, Nuzvid, etc. and so, there is no spare time. Next month, I shall tell you about who “you” are to your full satisfaction. For the present, try to grasp the meaning of this burrakatha (folklore) written below. You will understand who this “you” is, and it is also possible you will get vairagya (detachment, renunciation) to a large extent through this. Later, you will understand the meaning of what I have to say more clearly and with greater ease. Do not merely read this burrakatha but, think well on the meaning of each and every word. This burrakatha will certainly turn your brain!
Bhakta: All right. Tell me at least that. I shall satisfy my desire. I shall drink that nectar and digest it.
Swami: Listen, carefully.
1. Tai! Tai! Tai! Tai! Tai! Doll
See the tamasha (amusing play) of this maya doll.
O jiva, listen to its long apprehensive tale
that I describe
Of its past and its future!
2. It rolled at first in mushy mire, of mother’s womb
It came with a whimper, but all around
They smiled in joy and feasts galore.
What a strange thing it is!
3. “O Tragedy! I am born again,”
It knew and wept, both loud and long.
But, all the while, they caressed it and laughed to raise a laugh!
Who such ones are to you, O Dolly!
4. In its own dirt, it wallowed in glee,
Without a sense of shame;
It rose and fell, at every step,
Acting daily a childish play.
5. It runs and skips with gangs of chums
And learns a hundred tricks and trades;
It grows so tall and thick and broad;
From year to year, very fast and fair.
6. It moves in pairs, and bills and coos (in samsara)
In rosy rainbow style;
With vehement desires, it sings in tunes unheard before,
And quaffs the cup, unique and strange.
7. ’Tis Brahma who makes these dolls in pairs
And dolls and dolls in millions;
But this our puppet does not know
When it plays with dollies, Tim! Tim! Tim! as its own!
8. It amasses and saves wealth
However, it leaves all behind and vanishes one day!
How can then it is plausible
To play by the antics of its body and mind!
9. This maya Doll dances like the Holly Bull
With the tamas rope in nostril hole;
Whacked by the scorpion whips of kama (lust) and krodha (anger)
With kamini (woman) and kanaka (wealth) in its hand!
10. It gloats with glee, when others stoop
Before it, shuddering low;
It doles them pain; but, cannot bear
A microscopic share!
11. It swears and shouts and waves its arms
And frets and fumes with blood-red eyes;
It is indeed a wondrous sight—
Possessed by Devil Ire!
12. It scans and spells, it scribbles and swots,
It does not know the reason why,
It runs in panic trying to glean, fodder for belly, willy or nilly.
Ah, did you see this queer little dummy with so many books in its tummy,
Turning and twisting in jealousy green,
when a bigger doll encounters it?
13. And, you should hear its secret cluck when a shameful sensual urge
A wicked lurking greed is satisfied in sin!
Can it blindfold Chitragupta,
Who keeps track of its thoughts and actions?
14. It proudly pats; what?, its own back!
For beauty, brawn, vitality.
While all the time and step by step
It moves towards senility.
15. It totters and blinks through wrinkles and folds
And when the children cry, “Old Ape” “Old Ape”
It gapes and grins a toothless grin—
Its bones do clatter so!
16. Unto the last, it is lost in worries (of samsara)
Wear and tear and many a tearsome fray!
Of what avail, O Dummy Doll, your gasp and groan,
Your needs must meet the Doom.
17. Aha! The Bird! It shakes its wings!
It flies out, brrrr, from out the cage of skin.
Empty, it tightens; vacant, it straightens:
O drag it out of sight; it bloats and stinks.
18. The elements join their parents five;
The Doll’s desires are dust in the mouth;
Why weep, you fools, when one of you
Falls on the crowded stage?
19. Uncles, cousins, aunts and friends
March in gloom until the door of the cemetery room!
The maya Doll, alas, forgot one kin,
The Divine Name, Redeemer True!
20. O jiva, do not lean upon this slender reed;
Just a little sneeze! This frail skin boat
Endowed with thrice three leaks
Will plunge you, middle stream!
21. This puppet weeps, it sleeps and wakes,
When the string is pulled by unseen Hand
The Lord, it is, who stands behind,
But the Dummy swears, It is I, I, I.
22. Dharma, karma are the hardy strings
He tightens or He loosens.
Unaware of the maya, the puppet in the Lord’s hand
Swaggers criss-cross, on the planks.
23. It takes the world as stable, —
This silly strutting Dummy!
A twinkle! He winds up the show!
Exit the pomp and pride!
24. O karma jiva, you have waded through ant and snake and bird
Seek and find without delay,
The road to lasting Bliss!
25. O jiva, you were born for self-inquiry!
Given how rare human birth is, not even a moment should you waste.
Awaken, rise, explore and walk the road of the Supreme Lord
And you will reach the eternal state of Bliss.
26. Bless your luck! You now can see
Sai Krishna, He has come - The akhileswara!
Be one with him and you will know
Your what and why and how.
27. A million words so clever and nice,
Can they appease your hunger’s maw?
Light the Lamp of your soul instead,
And, freed from bondage, run out and play.
28. This folk song that tells of Dummy Doll’s insane tale
Makes jiva free (from ignorance and wise! I know;
But, jiva! See the leela of this folk song by Sathya Sai
And.................. Know Thyself!
Bhakta: Ah! I have understood! I have clearly understood that 'I' am not the deham (body), the buddhi (intellect), the manas (mind), or the chittam (subconscious mind). When 'I' am not any of these, 'I' must be only the atma. If 'I' am the atma, then 'I' am the paramatma as atma is paramatma and so, everything is paramatma! All this I have understood! Believing, out of ignorance that 'I' am this deham (body) and this buddhi (intellect), we are experiencing all these miseries, losses, and sufferings. True, true! We are passing through all that You said now, one after the other, as beads in a string. Oh! What a truth! What a truth! Listening to this one burrakatha is enough; the brain, as You said, turns into vairagya! Swami! I felt very disappointed when You said first that You had no time to spare. But, that was due to my ignorance. Though I knew that our Swami will never disappoint anyone, or give any trouble, I felt like that. You have conferred even more ananda now, than what I thought I would get. How is Your daya (kindness) to be described! They sing of You, “For a single drop of tear, Sai will melt”; and they say You can never bear to see us suffer; this is proof of the truth of these. Shall I take leave?
Swami: Very good! Go and come again. I too have no time to spare. I have to see and send those who are going to their places.
V
Swami: Well, my boy! So, you have come. I am very glad. Are you reflecting on the answers given previously and practicing what has been told, in firm conviction, and deriving ananda (Bliss) therefrom?
Bhakta: Swami! Will any bhakta (devotee) like me, ever alert for that chance, allow the words of nectar so received, to go to waste? Will there be anyone who throws away the ambrosia that comes to them as their share? No one aspiring to attain real ananda will allow Your words to go to waste. I do not know about others, but I am reflecting upon Your answers night and day and practicing them. Swami! If not for the invaluable effect of Your ambrosial words, I am unable to bear the strain of waiting for the 16th of the month. I am awake all the time, counting the days.
Swami: It is just this alertness that bhaktas should have. To renounce everything for the unsubstantial, useless, evanescent, and false delusions of the world, to get attached to these and to worry for these is quite natural and this is called avidya-maya (intrinsic nature of ignorance). On the other hand, your meditating or contemplating on the Lord while counting the days, waiting for the chance of hearing His words, and for grasping their essence, this is called vidya-maya (intrinsic nature of Knowledge). If bhaktas fall into this maya, they will attain fulfillment without fail, some day or another. So, since this vidya-maya has illumined you, you are fortunate. Develop this, that is to say, this dwelling on the thoughts of God; don’t give it up or reduce it, for any reason, to any extent. You will become holy, without fail. You will reach fulfillment and attain the goal.
Bhakta: Swami! Last month, You said You would explain to me, “Who am I?” If I understand that also, I can be rid of the little vyamoha (delusion) that I have and, without any slightest trace of doubt, contemplate and meditate on You and be blissful. What greater fortune can I have?
Swami: Well, my boy! To speak about the real nature of 'I' is very easy; but, until it is experienced, full contentment is impossible. For Me to tell you to My satisfaction and for you to grasp its full meaning, it needs some time. This month, even the allotted hours of the day are not enough for Me! Though it is like this, I am using all the time for the ananda of bhaktas only; I have no other separate desire of My own. Being useful for My bhaktas, that is My selfish purpose. Throughout last month, I went to Nellore, Gudur, Venkatagiri, and the villages around. Afterwards, I went to Bangalore and returned. What little time was available, I used for Prema Vahini! This month, I am visiting Hyderabad, Rajahmundry, Samarlakota, Chebrolu, Nuzvid, etc. and so, there is no spare time. Next month, I shall tell you about who “you” are to your full satisfaction. For the present, try to grasp the meaning of this burrakatha (folklore) written below. You will understand who this “you” is, and it is also possible you will get vairagya (detachment, renunciation) to a large extent through this. Later, you will understand the meaning of what I have to say more clearly and with greater ease. Do not merely read this burrakatha but, think well on the meaning of each and every word. This burrakatha will certainly turn your brain!
Bhakta: All right. Tell me at least that. I shall satisfy my desire. I shall drink that nectar and digest it.
Swami: Listen, carefully.
1. Tai! Tai! Tai! Tai! Tai! Doll
See the tamasha (amusing play) of this maya doll.
O jiva, listen to its long apprehensive tale
that I describe
Of its past and its future!
2. It rolled at first in mushy mire, of mother’s womb
It came with a whimper, but all around
They smiled in joy and feasts galore.
What a strange thing it is!
3. “O Tragedy! I am born again,”
It knew and wept, both loud and long.
But, all the while, they caressed it and laughed to raise a laugh!
Who such ones are to you, O Dolly!
4. In its own dirt, it wallowed in glee,
Without a sense of shame;
It rose and fell, at every step,
Acting daily a childish play.
5. It runs and skips with gangs of chums
And learns a hundred tricks and trades;
It grows so tall and thick and broad;
From year to year, very fast and fair.
6. It moves in pairs, and bills and coos (in samsara)
In rosy rainbow style;
With vehement desires, it sings in tunes unheard before,
And quaffs the cup, unique and strange.
7. ’Tis Brahma who makes these dolls in pairs
And dolls and dolls in millions;
But this our puppet does not know
When it plays with dollies, Tim! Tim! Tim! as its own!
8. It amasses and saves wealth
However, it leaves all behind and vanishes one day!
How can then it is plausible
To play by the antics of its body and mind!
9. This maya Doll dances like the Holly Bull
With the tamas rope in nostril hole;
Whacked by the scorpion whips of kama (lust) and krodha (anger)
With kamini (woman) and kanaka (wealth) in its hand!
10. It gloats with glee, when others stoop
Before it, shuddering low;
It doles them pain; but, cannot bear
A microscopic share!
11. It swears and shouts and waves its arms
And frets and fumes with blood-red eyes;
It is indeed a wondrous sight—
Possessed by Devil Ire!
12. It scans and spells, it scribbles and swots,
It does not know the reason why,
It runs in panic trying to glean, fodder for belly, willy or nilly.
Ah, did you see this queer little dummy with so many books in its tummy,
Turning and twisting in jealousy green,
when a bigger doll encounters it?
13. And, you should hear its secret cluck when a shameful sensual urge
A wicked lurking greed is satisfied in sin!
Can it blindfold Chitragupta,
Who keeps track of its thoughts and actions?
14. It proudly pats; what?, its own back!
For beauty, brawn, vitality.
While all the time and step by step
It moves towards senility.
15. It totters and blinks through wrinkles and folds
And when the children cry, “Old Ape” “Old Ape”
It gapes and grins a toothless grin—
Its bones do clatter so!
16. Unto the last, it is lost in worries (of samsara)
Wear and tear and many a tearsome fray!
Of what avail, O Dummy Doll, your gasp and groan,
Your needs must meet the Doom.
17. Aha! The Bird! It shakes its wings!
It flies out, brrrr, from out the cage of skin.
Empty, it tightens; vacant, it straightens:
O drag it out of sight; it bloats and stinks.
18. The elements join their parents five;
The Doll’s desires are dust in the mouth;
Why weep, you fools, when one of you
Falls on the crowded stage?
19. Uncles, cousins, aunts and friends
March in gloom until the door of the cemetery room!
The maya Doll, alas, forgot one kin,
The Divine Name, Redeemer True!
20. O jiva, do not lean upon this slender reed;
Just a little sneeze! This frail skin boat
Endowed with thrice three leaks
Will plunge you, middle stream!
21. This puppet weeps, it sleeps and wakes,
When the string is pulled by unseen Hand
The Lord, it is, who stands behind,
But the Dummy swears, It is I, I, I.
22. Dharma, karma are the hardy strings
He tightens or He loosens.
Unaware of the maya, the puppet in the Lord’s hand
Swaggers criss-cross, on the planks.
23. It takes the world as stable, —
This silly strutting Dummy!
A twinkle! He winds up the show!
Exit the pomp and pride!
24. O karma jiva, you have waded through ant and snake and bird
Seek and find without delay,
The road to lasting Bliss!
25. O jiva, you were born for self-inquiry!
Given how rare human birth is, not even a moment should you waste.
Awaken, rise, explore and walk the road of the Supreme Lord
And you will reach the eternal state of Bliss.
26. Bless your luck! You now can see
Sai Krishna, He has come - The akhileswara!
Be one with him and you will know
Your what and why and how.
27. A million words so clever and nice,
Can they appease your hunger’s maw?
Light the Lamp of your soul instead,
And, freed from bondage, run out and play.
28. This folk song that tells of Dummy Doll’s insane tale
Makes jiva free (from ignorance and wise! I know;
But, jiva! See the leela of this folk song by Sathya Sai
And.................. Know Thyself!
Bhakta: Ah! I have understood! I have clearly understood that 'I' am not the deham (body), the buddhi (intellect), the manas (mind), or the chittam (subconscious mind). When 'I' am not any of these, 'I' must be only the atma. If 'I' am the atma, then 'I' am the paramatma as atma is paramatma and so, everything is paramatma! All this I have understood! Believing, out of ignorance that 'I' am this deham (body) and this buddhi (intellect), we are experiencing all these miseries, losses, and sufferings. True, true! We are passing through all that You said now, one after the other, as beads in a string. Oh! What a truth! What a truth! Listening to this one burrakatha is enough; the brain, as You said, turns into vairagya! Swami! I felt very disappointed when You said first that You had no time to spare. But, that was due to my ignorance. Though I knew that our Swami will never disappoint anyone, or give any trouble, I felt like that. You have conferred even more ananda now, than what I thought I would get. How is Your daya (kindness) to be described! They sing of You, “For a single drop of tear, Sai will melt”; and they say You can never bear to see us suffer; this is proof of the truth of these. Shall I take leave?
Swami: Very good! Go and come again. I too have no time to spare. I have to see and send those who are going to their places.